What girlfriends talk about while camping sitting on the pop-up camper step at 8:30am.... oh and their 2.

SofieDove: Dora (points to oversized Dora face on her PJ's).
Lauren: ya...
SofieDove: Circles. (points to Laurens circles on her PJ's).
Lauren: Ya, circles. Dora. (smiles)
SofieDove: Yea.... Dora. Circles.
Lauren: Circles. Dora. (laughs)
SofieDove: (laughs) Yea.

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Tags: children, conversation

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Tags: hula-hoops

To the Woman Who Just Left This Bathroom Stall,

What the holy hell happened in here? My brain is racing through the possibilities. Did you splay starfish-style against the walls of the stall and misfire from above? Were you guessing as to where the center hole was located on the apparatus we call the toilet?

How was this spatter pattern physically possible? Did you stand over the seat under the impression that you have a penis? Clearly you do not have a penis. Drunk college men with loss of motor skills due to way too much alcohol consumption have better aim than you.

Only moments ago, when we made eye contact, I noted your cute shoes and perfectly manicured toes. And now here I stand, with the door closed behind me; hearing the main door shut as you swiftly dart for freedom; I notice the fact that the water faucet never turning on realizing you didn't wash your hands; while almost in slow motion, eyes falling on toilet does it all come together. Now I know why you were in such a hurry as I am now preparing to wipe your piss urine off my toilet seat.

If you continue to do this, leave these filthy messes for complete strangers despite being in your late thirties, eventually someone will point it out. I hope they will point it out by slamming open the stall, grabbing you by your pointelle collar on your jacquard blouse, and pushing your nose up to the toilet seat, while shouting, “No! NO! Baaaad stranger! Baaaaaad!”

In the meantime, I’ll be here with a roll of toilet paper wrapped around my hand, mopping up a grown woman’s pee-pee.

Regards,
christine

Tags: urine, public restrooms

I love this object. I don't know why. But I do.
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Tags: swing, finnish toys

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Tags: flowers

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Tags: art, suckatude

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Tags: high school, friendships, regrets

Not saltwater taffy.
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Tags: saltwater tanks, MN Zoo, finger licking

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Tags: flowers, yellow, sunflower

Mornings take time.
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Tags: morning

Boating. Pretzel Heads.
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Tags: boating, Lake Minnetonka

Newbies.

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Tags: flowers, blackeyed susans

All I wanted to do tonite was to make my little LoveDove some smores. Being super thirsty I poured myself a tall Diet Mt. Dew with lots o'ice. I like to let it settle so the pop can chill in the glass and when it gets misty on the outside then it's perfect. That's my favorite. Anyways as I was carrying the necessaries to the campfire along with my super chilled not yet sipped Diet Mt. Dew, dog #1 was peeing on little LoveDoves slide toy in the yard, so I put down the stuff on the grass and corrected dog #1, dog #2 went over to the pre smore nummies and the super chilled Diet Mt. Dew and tipped it over! I went quickly to retrieve it and dammit 3/4 of it was soaking up in the grass. I don't know why, but I LOST IT. All I wanted was to sit by the campfire and roast a strawberry marshmellow with my daughter and make smores and sip my super cooled Diet Mt. Dew. Loosing my temper, I threw the rest of the super chilled Diet Dew on dog #2's back and as I looked up the Pants was looking at me with huge Egor eyes. He said I was mean. I was just getting back. He spilled my pop. Baad Christine! Baaaad!

Damn dog.

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Tags: dogs

I need this.




















I want this.
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Tags: furniture, beds

I forgot. I got busy one day, then the next. Out of sight, out of mind. One of those sortofthings.

I got a new mattress and I have a backache. I'm sleeping less and taking more tylenol. I have time to spend on here. Unfortunately.

I didn't forget, I just got lazy.

Hi, my name is Christine and I'm a liar.

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Tags: excuses, liar