Okay, so I don't think I'm a computer dumbass. I might not be a third level IT developer or PFF developer, but I can follow directions and usually make things work.
Technorati is the stupidest, dumbest, most worthless piece of crap-o-la I ever attempted on using. It's given me more headaches and I've scratched my head so many times going over the application that I have a permanent scar on my forehead.
I tag, and I ping, and I NEVER get updated, and I NEVER get paged. It's like I'm on iggy with Technorati. Also, their website seems to be all over the place. It doesn't have any rhyme or reason to where you can get help (no, it's really not in the Help section) and there is no real 'forum' to get some Q & A's of anything that is somewhat technical.
I even dL'ed the perfomancing for Firefox so I thought my tags would work if I used their template for publishing. All I get is this error, and when I goto the forum for that, it says, oops sorry, we know it does that with blogger, we don't know why, just keep trying and maybe, someday, in the future we'll have that bug fixed and you get 'get tagging' with us cause we are so cool to tag with. UGH! I hate technorati.

This crap BLOWS!

I'm not going to tag anymore. I deleted my presence off their site. Like they care but it's one less headache for me. AHHH I feel better. Kinda like I took a big poop better.
:(( <--frowny face
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TAGS WILL NO LONGER BE INSERTED HERE........

So, I took this quiz. It's a non-scientific test, non-fat and basically non-sense.
I think they did get my 'mom' style correct though. I really don't fret too much over spilled anything.

**side note: Here's my license plate that I have on my car. (yea, it's dirty, but it's Minnesota AND winter, get over it!)

Back to the quiz...
Your quiz results make you a Zen Mom
How do you do it? Even when explosions are all around, you are able to take a deep cleansing breath and chant your mantra "this too shall pass." You are a calming influence on your kids in a hectic world.

Cool. So, does this mean that I'm all about "zen" as in the street name for 'lysergic acid diethylamide' AKA back breaker, battery-acid, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, acid, superman, dose, dot or plain ol' LSD? And "this too shall pass" passes because I was hallucinating for days? OR does it refer to the "zen sense" as in enlightenment obtained through right conduct and wisdom and meditation?
Well, I'll take definition #2 if I get to choose, although, I've dabbled in both.

So now I'm feeling smart and all yoga-zen-like right now. I think I'm going to meditate about stretching my legs over my head. Bad visual.

Take the test @ http://www.areyouaslackermom.com
:))
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zen MOMS Club®

Today in the mail, I recieved my little gift to myself. I'm doing little tap dances under the table now. Needless to say, I have alot of things I like, such as:

• shoes (duh, I'm a girl)
• purses (duh, again)
• lipgloss
• nice socks
• yankee candles (fresh cut roses is my favorite all year round)

My husband would probably disagree with me, and say that these are some items that I collect and have too many of, but these things my friends are just regular ordinary items that I like to have. Not really NEEDS, they are WANTS but not MUST HAVE'S.
The reason why I gave a gift to myself is because this is something I really love. My husband probably doesn't even really know how much I love this, but, I guess he will now when he eventually reads this. I love stationary. Anything paper really. I love lovely stationary, not the drugstore thank you notes. Heavy weight, 80lb stock paper, personalized stationary. Stationary includes, personalized notepads, mommy cards (just like business cards but with a cute graphic and my personal information to hand out to friends and new friends I may meet), thank you's, gift cards, etc. But it doens't really stop there. I love personalized wrapping papers with beautiful bows, vintage gift wrapping papers with matching gift cards and two sided foil gift wrap. When you use special wrapping papers, it's always best to use the satin tapes, not the regular scotch gift tape because the satin doens't make that dull adheasive look onto the paper and ruin the flow of it. Maybe I get way into this, but I guess I'm just picky. Oh! Also include those Sniffy tissues. They come in adorable prints, and heavy for good cleanups. So many colors and prints to choose from, I can change my tissues to coordinate with my handbags, or moods (some have real quirky sayings on them just for women)!
Anyways, I got my stationary today. Nice stationary makes me just as happy as having a full cup of caribou latte in my hand, or recieving a handful of yummy smelling tulips. Those are some of the things I just can't live without.
:))
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yankee candles stationary

Ok, so I'm driving down the I-94 and there she is. Barreling down at 70 mph, with a box of fried rice in one hand, that same hand toggling the steering wheel, and in her other hand, chopsticks. NOW, I've seen just about everything people do while driving.
driving eating eating while driving stupid people

I really enjoy a good latte from Caribou Coffee. It's a light and refreshing warm drink, and having a full cup in my hand makes me happy. Really happy. So with that in mind, I went to my local Caribou Coffee for a double small skinny latte with mint shot (I really needed a jolt) . I've ordered the same drink hundreds of times, and I know exactly what the clerk will ask.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like a double small skinny latte with mint shot please.

"Would you like any baked goods with that? Muffin or fresh cookie?"

"No thank you, just the latte."

"That will be $3.09."

I hand her the keychain caribou prepaid card shaped as a car with the driver drinking a caribou coffee.

So that is the usual routine, which lasts maybe 30 seconds. Anyways, I walk in to Caribou and immediately notice there is a long line, and I'm probably about the fifth person back. I start to distract my 16 month old from the card rack by showing her a job application form while the first person finishes his order. Not bad. I also grab The Laker paper (our little local paper) and scan it over for about 1 minute. I should be out of here in no more than three or four minutes. I scan the room for more things to use to distract Sofielove, nothing. I go back to the paper, not a whole lot is going on in Mound.

That's funny, because I haven't moved since I started reading the paper. I look up and see an Asian couple, probably in their early thirties trying to order. Hmmmph, I think. You would think that they could have picked out their order before they got to the front of the line. Oh well, back to the paper. Looks like real estate in Mound is pretty expensive. Who would want to pay $500,000 for an old shack?

I look up again, and the Asian lady looks like she is trying to decide which of her newborn twins she is going to give up for adoption. **Sigh** I guess it is pretty tough to decide what to get, with all of the choices on the menu. Back to the paper. Great, they have the scores for the kiddie hockey games in the area. I look up and notice the lady in front of me starting to get agitated.

After painful minutes of deliberating, she finally decides what she wants. After she makes her order, and the clerk tells her the total, she reaches into her purse and pulls out some coupons. I'm pretty sure that she knew what she was going to order, and just maybe, she could have had the coupons ready. This causes a moment of disarray, as the clerk needs help in dealing with the coupon.

Now, I'm really starting to fidget back in the line. In the mean time, the line is almost seven people deep, and I'm really feeling embarrassed for Asian people all over the world. Do we always appear this indecisive in public? After they finally work out the coupon-adjusted price, she proceeds to pay him with quarters and pennies! The final insult occurred when she asked him if she could have any more of those coupons.

Ten minutes later, I walked out with my double small skinny latte with mint shot, sweating and frazzled trying to entertain a 16 month old while in queue. At least I got my Caribou.
:))
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Caribou Coffee

When you have kids, it's strange how your life changes in so many small ways that you really don't realize it unless you take some time to think of things you used to do without giving it much thought or the repercussions of it, and now those same ideas somehow seem undo-able. It's like we morph into some sort of 'idealist/pessimist' that we now tend to over think certain things to see if they would be an easy task, or a difficult task. In fact, we get so good at it that we subconsciously 'rate' certain tasks and we know if it's do-able, or a 'no way hose-ay not today'.
I briefly learned of a scientific study on the thought processes of females vs. males. I don't know how much merit it really has because I wasn't given any pie charts or seen any EEG of male and female brains to give the study some backing (because if someone bothered taking EEGs, well, it must be true), but the conclusions goes as this. It takes males an average of 30 seconds to process what was told to them, where as females can process that information the instant it's been said. Tell your little boy to close the door, then count to 30, and that's him computing the information you just related, then he'll complete the task.. well if he's a good boy he will. This characteristic stays with male children all they way through adulthood. I was told how this works is that males, while being born, since they have some estrogen in their bodies/brains because of being in the womb for 9 months, it's still not enough to 'lacquer' their brains. As for females, they have all this extra estrogen (theirs and some from the mother) that when they are born, their brain is coated with estrogen which in turn 'hardens' the meningeal layer (thin dura around the cerebellum) of the brain which helps stimulate BOTH sides of the brain. Where as males really only develop one side first before development begins on the other. So is estrogen sort of like an electrical impedance to the neuron reactors? I dunno. I haven't bothered finding an article on this yet. But it's Interesting. Quite interesting.
Some things of ponderance:
Going to the grocery store to pick up a major load of groceries after dinner, is measured. Having a cup of coffee at your local Caribou before her naptime, is measured. Going to the bathroom in a tight, close courtered bathroom at a mall (which I personally don't like to do) on your way out the door after 4 hours of shopping, 2 hours past her actual naptime, is measured. Going out with the women for cocktails without a curfew on a Tuesday night, is measured. It's interesting. Now I stop to think, "can I do this today right now." "Can I deal with all of what could happen, right now." Before Sofielove, I wouldn't have thought twice about NOT doing these things. And as for drinks on the Tuesday? I probably would have gotten skunk drunk! The consequences of taking care of a toddler while hung over has no rewards whatsoever. I did that once, once was enough. Child rearing certainly has no cons in my book. But you definitely change your modes of execution for simple menial tasks.
And as for your husband, next time you tell him to take out the garbage, and he just stares at you for half a minute, remember, he's not wired like you. Give him time. He'll get it done. He just can't help it.
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Wearing a tutu has it's benefits.

• the obvious (looking incredibally adorable)
• goes with just about anything
• hides the low riding diaper
• makes people smile
• if you raise holy hell because you didn't get your way, you still look like an adorable fairy princess
• it goes great with tennis shoes
• it's an extra layer to keep warm in the winter months
• it's not practical... at all
• it's one of those things that only we 'girls' understand

When I grow up, I want to be a....

TUTU WEARING HOCKEY GIRL!!!!!!

The other day, I was just being me, running around the house after my 16 month old Sofielove. She was being cute as can be, running ever so fast, sometimes, both feet would leave the ground at the same time. I tried to capture that gallop on camera, but I didn't have my Canon Rebel next to me, I only had a mediocre digital camera that left a picture of her in 'trails'. I have nothing to post for visual stimulation. Anyways, after about lap 14, she was leaving an odor trailing behind her. I knew exactly what it was. A poopie. Sofielove isn't exactly what you'd call a petite child for her age. She's built a lot like her father, a dense tube of flesh. She's heavy, and tall. At her 15 month appt., her stats were a mind boggling 31 lbs and 34 inches. Size 5.5 foot, but according to Stride Rite, the foot EXPERTS, she's a double wide. I was a bit taken back by her wide foot because mine are not so wide. I believed them when I tried to wedge on her tiny foot a baby gap shoe. Everyone knows that those shoes run really wide and my little Sofielove couldn't get one on. It's okay, I love her chubbytoes.
I get side tracked talking about her sometimes. Back to the poopie. So, needing a change, I bend down to pick her up while she's in stride and as I straighten up, something happens to me that has NEVER happened before. I was sort of set back by the whole event because I couldn't understand what and why this has happened. I peed a little bit. Now, preceding picking her up, I think I had the urge to go, but it wasn't a full fledged "gotta go gotta go gotta go right now" bladder control commercial, where the vacationer leaps off of the double decker bus during a tour so she can piss then hangs her head in shame as she returns to the waiting bus. It was more like, hmmm, knock knock, there's some pee in here, you should probably go with in the next 30 minutes or so. Now, I've been able to hold pee for a really long time. Sometimes I hold it until I get home because I am a 'preferred peeier'. I like to pee at home. I don't MIND peeing in public, some places have very nice rest rooms. Places I don't like to pee at are:

• grocery store
• shopping malls (department stores are better, like Marshall Fields, Macy's etc.)
• gas stations
• target
• walmart ( I never shop there, but if I did)
• hockey arenas (I DO pee when I goto a hockey game, but I limit it to one)
• some restaurants (ie. Subway, any fast food establishment)
• portable toilets
• anywhere in London that you insert a pence to pee. (I'd rather go in the alley)
• on an airplane that has been in the air for more than 4 hours (think about it)
  

I'm sure if I spent some time, I could come up with a few more but you get the gist of it. I will pee in lots of places...like...

• certain dept stores (list above)
• anyone's home
• most table service restaurants
• against a tree
• behind the car bumper
• on the isle of Iona in Scotland

• in a can in the car
• in an airport bathroom stall (preferably in the Northwest Airlines Club)
• on the Dun I in Scotland on the isle of Raasay (the water behind me is the freshwater reserve for the wee little town at the bottom of the mountain we were on.. I learned that AFTER I wee'd next to it on our way up the Dun I)
  

• in a park
• in fresh water ( I'm afraid of oceans/seas)
• in a pool (shhhhhh)

Well, I'm sure there's MORE and if you want to call me on it, I'll yay or nay it.
I can't accept peeing in my pants. I'm adjusting to being older, but I'm too young for depends. I did leak some when I was in my last trimester of pregnancy, a sneeze, uncontrollable laughter or a cough. So, it's not my first time. This time though, I technically did it when I was 35 (a day or so after the birthday event and no, I'm not pregnant) so maybe it's just a sign of aging. Is it genetics? Perhaps. My sister can't really hold it at all (she's 20 yrs older than I) and well as for my mom.. she pee's her pants, but then again when I remember her doing it most is while she was drinking beer. LOTS of it.
So as you can see, I'm adjusting to my peeing. I technically haven't told the husband yet, I'm sure he'll get a huge kick out of it, and maybe that's one reason why I'm stalling. But, we share, so he needs to know.
:))
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toilet scotland weird

This past weekend was both eventful and uneventful at the same time. I have had many other weekends packed with more activities, but I have never had one that gave me such great insight into my own emergence into adulthood. In many ways, it is kind of depressing, because most of these events mark the loss of some special aspect of being a kid. Whether it's being able to eat a gigantic meal without flinching or being able to go out without a scarf on and not get sick, I am beginning to feel older. Let's rewind to Thursday nite, when I guess one could say, my Birthday festivities start.
Since the grandparents live 30 miles one way (aka babysitters that I totally trust), I need to drop off the Sofielove before I can go out. Jason works a 9 to 5er so it seems if we want to do anything after work, we always have to meet because with traffic we won't get us anyhwere together any place on time. We start off by going to a wine tasting downtown Mpls. I never get to go any place that I can wear my 'going out' shoes anymore. It's difficult to chase a toddler in heels. So I strapped on my kickass boots and I'm sipping wine. Now, I only get a taste of champagne before I remind myself, someone has to drive.. so I stop there. No fun you say, well, reality kicked in and I was thinking DWI on a thursday, not cool. Then after a while we wisked off to a few blocks down, some friends invited us to the play Defending the Caveman, which was really quite good and funny. I'll go into that another time, back to my current thought. After the play cruising back to the grandparents to pick up the Sofielove, whose bedtime has long passed, and getting her home by 11:30pm. She's such an awesome child no complaints on getting her to bed, it's just that I feel bad when she's tired. I guess this little act made me feel more like an adult. For most of my life, my parents were the ones that did for me, now I do for her.
Moving on to Friday night, I went out to dinner with my in-laws to celebrate my birthday. I don't eat out a lot since the Sofielove doesn't permit me to finish a meal while it's still warm. Eating a cold meal in a restaurant sort of looses some of it's luster. With the Grandparents there, I do get to eat, and eat I did. I ordered a 1/2 lb bleu burger with asiago mash potatoes. HMMMMmmmm. Boy was I hungry. I went hungry thinking I'm going to order big and eat! I can remember a time when I would be able to consume every bite of every dish as if it were my last breath of air. That evening I found myself completely humbled in the act of eating that huge burger. It seems that age has brought with it two changes: I can not eat as much, and I tend to "absorb" more of the calories around my body. This is not a desirable pair of changes, if you ask me. Out of some vain attempt to regain the glorious eating patterns of my youth, I attempted to eat every last bite of the burger. My evening was brought to an unceremonious end as I headed for the comfort of my own home. I have a feeling that my triumphant ability to eat everything in sight (without feeling sick or gaining weight) is a thing of the past. *SIGH* I completely took that ability for granted when I was young. Topping that all off with some insane marshmellow chocolate dessert, I'm just ashamed of myself.
Not quite recovered from Fridays eating fiasco, I met my Mother-in-law and sister for lunch on Saturday. Along with a bit of shopping. We met, and I ate again. Leaving the restaurant, I'm feeling pretty undefeated in the eating catagory so far this weekend. Walking around the outdoor mall when it's 15 degrees out without a hat or scarf on got to me. I felt like I was coming down with fluish symptoms. But I still had to meet some friends for cocktails that night, so I didn't have time to get sick. I came home, popped some Tylonol, ate some dinner, and my 'going out' boots were back on for the second time this year. To sum up the nite, all I could think about was I can't get sick, there's a superbowl tomorrow and my husband is having his friends over. Out of the 3 beer bottles that sat before me, I probably only drank 1-1/2 worth and I couldn't get out of my mind that my husbands new HMO that totally sucks, we have to pay all of the bills until we cap a certain amount, and if I get sick, we have to pay the bill therefore I don't want to get sick enough to see a doctor! Now I was thinking about "adult" things like doctor bills, insurance, and HMO red tape. What's up with that? I'm such a loser. My night ended by midnight because I was tired. Not because the bar was closing and we're getting booted out. So, I went home, popped more medicine, and woke up sick. But I can't be, because I had too much to do. I woke up, popped some meds, I made the meatballs, the Kugen (german dessert that one recipe yeilds 9-12 cakes), the seafood dip, the taco dip, vaccumed the floor, scrubbed the toilets etc, etc., all for about 15 people. Then I had about 1 hour to lay down and rest before the guests appeared. No time to shower. Eh, it's my house, I'll look like hell if I want to. They should be grateful that I didn't cough over the seafood dip.

Well, that's about it. Here I am. It's 1:15am and still meticulously counting all of the calories I consumed. I know this might sound like I had a really bad weekend, but for some reason I was in a really good mood most of the time. It's really weird how moods work, but I think that is a subject for another day. My general health is good, I'm happy, I have a great life that I wouldn't trade and my husband still loves me. Oh, and Sofielove. The being whose life mine revolves around. I love to smell her necks sweetness when she sleeps.

Happy Birthday to the adult-person I call me. I'm officially 35. I'm halfway to dead.
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superbowl birthdays parenting

This is pretty creative... I'm guessing he isn't married... A wife probably wouldn't let him have this much time to play with his leggos if there is a honey-do list on the fridge. Nonetheless... I laffed.
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