I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that I do have OCD. I would say it's mild since it doesn't run my life, nonetheless it's there. I'm not one to 'self-diagnose' but all the signs are there and then some.
Now I know what you're picturing. She's washing her hands a lot and turning on and off the lights and checking the stove every 10 minutes 'just to be sure....'. Nah, not me. I'm on the other side.
I've been reading this site for a while, haven't posted on it because I feel that reading all the other posts by others with my same OCD is enough satisfaction for me. I love this site. I probably would be a person that would post on it, but I don't have time and I really don't want to fit in with those freaks.
My OCD is pretty specialized. I am a CSP. For those not in the know that's a Compulsive Skin Picker. In other words, I LOVE to pick zits. I know a lot of people attack their unwanted friends probably as a daily ritual. I go just a bit further than that. I like to pick my husbands (he really doesn't have any, but if I see one possible 'blemish' I'm all over it). He commented to me tonite actually that he could go on 'roids so he'd have a crop of them for me on a daily basis. Heh. THATS LOVE FOLKS. I'm also a nail biter, which does go along with CSP. I wear falsies to cover my bad habits. Now CSP doesn't just stop at zits, it includes cuticles, scabs, any bumps of anykind actually. For me it's not a duty to pop, it's satisfaction and a feeling of relief and accomplishment. Strange? Yes, but hey, I love my runners high. And to top it off, if I don't have anything to pick then I am a derma-surfer. Yes, I surf the net for dermatology comedomes and pustules to find the worst of the worst and stare at what I do not have. Not that I'd want horrible acne, boils, pustules, cysts and other popable bumpies. But I don't 'mind' browsing dermatologist sites that expose these ailments on the World Wide Web for my eager eyes.
Being a CSP, I do not feel the way most bad OCD persons feel. I don't feel lonely and seclude myself in a silent jail. I pick and move forward. I do not injure myself, pick for several hours a day, require hospitalizing because I've picked myself a horrible infection. This site is a brief overview of CSP. I don't know if my OCD stems from a chemical imbalance, or if I'm just a creature of a really bad habit. I've had acne all my life. When I entered Junior High, I had it all over my back, chest and face. The acne on my body was rather painful (I'm referring to the physical feeling rather than the emotional). Although emotionally, I was self conscious. I remained popular in school despite my acne. I've been in and out of dermatologist since I was twelve. In my twenties my acne went away but in my 30s it came back. Since adulthood I've only had facial acne and it was nothing like it was as a child. Now, it's more 'annoying' than painful because I've longed for clear skin and this childhood 'disease' is keeping up with me. When I was pregnant my skin was never clearer. I actually thought my acne was gone, but a few months after I gave birth, it slowly came back.
I've been on the same medical 'regime' for years now. I use 2 medications (topical) daily, everyday, probably for the rest of my life. I still get the occasional blemish. I find this unsatisfying. My cuticles are paying the price for my clear skin.
Before you say "Hmmmmmm..." and shake you head at me ready to judge, realize this. We see fat people, anorexic people, compulsive & obsessive people, nail biters, skin pickers, hair pullers, emotionally weak or stressed out people, uncooperative people, alcoholics, smokers, poor performers, shy people, those who appear lazy & tend to sleep-walk through the day. We see people with latent talent who refuse to be motivated. We see frightened people, some who can't leave their homes & others who simply can't stand up & make a presentation at work. This is just a short list of what we can see if we bother to look. The list goes on and on for emotional disorders, but I'm only #4 and #5 on this list. How many are you?
c-
:))
Tags: OCD, CSP, zits, blemishes
Now I know what you're picturing. She's washing her hands a lot and turning on and off the lights and checking the stove every 10 minutes 'just to be sure....'. Nah, not me. I'm on the other side.
I've been reading this site for a while, haven't posted on it because I feel that reading all the other posts by others with my same OCD is enough satisfaction for me. I love this site. I probably would be a person that would post on it, but I don't have time and I really don't want to fit in with those freaks.
My OCD is pretty specialized. I am a CSP. For those not in the know that's a Compulsive Skin Picker. In other words, I LOVE to pick zits. I know a lot of people attack their unwanted friends probably as a daily ritual. I go just a bit further than that. I like to pick my husbands (he really doesn't have any, but if I see one possible 'blemish' I'm all over it). He commented to me tonite actually that he could go on 'roids so he'd have a crop of them for me on a daily basis. Heh. THATS LOVE FOLKS. I'm also a nail biter, which does go along with CSP. I wear falsies to cover my bad habits. Now CSP doesn't just stop at zits, it includes cuticles, scabs, any bumps of anykind actually. For me it's not a duty to pop, it's satisfaction and a feeling of relief and accomplishment. Strange? Yes, but hey, I love my runners high. And to top it off, if I don't have anything to pick then I am a derma-surfer. Yes, I surf the net for dermatology comedomes and pustules to find the worst of the worst and stare at what I do not have. Not that I'd want horrible acne, boils, pustules, cysts and other popable bumpies. But I don't 'mind' browsing dermatologist sites that expose these ailments on the World Wide Web for my eager eyes.
Being a CSP, I do not feel the way most bad OCD persons feel. I don't feel lonely and seclude myself in a silent jail. I pick and move forward. I do not injure myself, pick for several hours a day, require hospitalizing because I've picked myself a horrible infection. This site is a brief overview of CSP. I don't know if my OCD stems from a chemical imbalance, or if I'm just a creature of a really bad habit. I've had acne all my life. When I entered Junior High, I had it all over my back, chest and face. The acne on my body was rather painful (I'm referring to the physical feeling rather than the emotional). Although emotionally, I was self conscious. I remained popular in school despite my acne. I've been in and out of dermatologist since I was twelve. In my twenties my acne went away but in my 30s it came back. Since adulthood I've only had facial acne and it was nothing like it was as a child. Now, it's more 'annoying' than painful because I've longed for clear skin and this childhood 'disease' is keeping up with me. When I was pregnant my skin was never clearer. I actually thought my acne was gone, but a few months after I gave birth, it slowly came back.
I've been on the same medical 'regime' for years now. I use 2 medications (topical) daily, everyday, probably for the rest of my life. I still get the occasional blemish. I find this unsatisfying. My cuticles are paying the price for my clear skin.
Before you say "Hmmmmmm..." and shake you head at me ready to judge, realize this. We see fat people, anorexic people, compulsive & obsessive people, nail biters, skin pickers, hair pullers, emotionally weak or stressed out people, uncooperative people, alcoholics, smokers, poor performers, shy people, those who appear lazy & tend to sleep-walk through the day. We see people with latent talent who refuse to be motivated. We see frightened people, some who can't leave their homes & others who simply can't stand up & make a presentation at work. This is just a short list of what we can see if we bother to look. The list goes on and on for emotional disorders, but I'm only #4 and #5 on this list. How many are you?
c-
:))
Tags: OCD, CSP, zits, blemishes
2 Comments:
Did you see 'filthy dirty love'? You're a peach, believe me.
Please believe me when I say that I have the exact same problems and I have to pick and pop every single blemish and blackhead and bump on my skin so much that it bleeds. I've just turned fourteen and I am sure you can just imagine the reactions that I get from my behaviors from others. It hurts because I feel as though no one I've met really understands me. Thank you so much for this website because it helps me to know that I'm not the only one.
Your Friend, Katie
Post a Comment
<< Home